In my previous post I looked at how we are judging people and everything at all times. That included judging other people and judging ourselves.
So if I recap, our conscious minds are pattern matching engines that search for memories and thoughts that match the situation that we are in. For example if a car is coming towards us we work out pretty quickly that we should get out of the way because it’s dangerous. The search is fast and the result is compelling. But when we apply that process (and it’s happening all the time) to judging people we have to be more careful because we have to consciously look for evidence to support the thoughts that we have.
When we are judging ourselves we go through the same processes. For some of us the results are more of an issue than others. Some of us have thoughts in many situations that tell us that we are inadequate, that we only deserve the bad things, that the bad things will drift towards us anyway. We get used to accepting those judgements of ourselves and frankly it makes us feel like something that you might scrape off your shoe.
So What? That’s how you think and there’s an end to it. That’s what my great aunt Mabel would have said and if it was good enough for her and so it’s good enough for me.
Well here’s the news great aunt Mabel and it’s not new news. You learnt how to think like that by accepting the thoughts and the more you accepted them the more they became true for you. And the more they became true the more the bad things that you predicted as a result of those thoughts came true as well.
Hypnosis and IEMT can help you unlearn them and put new thoughts in their place. I do this stuff for people and it works. You might expect that I’d say that.
Here’s the thing that you don’t know.
You can do things to help yourself starting today.
It must be hard though mustn’t it? No, it’s as easy as thinking.
Say for example you get one of those situations where something has gone wrong. Your first thought might be “This always happens to me, I’m destined to be like this for all time”.
Oh woe is me, poor me, it’s always me. It’s time to stop that now.
How about this. As soon as you think that thought ask yourself if it’s true and what evidence is there for it.
So the car won’t start. “Why does it always happen to me?” Did it happen yesterday, did it happen last week, last month. Do you know anyone else who ever had a car that won’t start? I hope you see where we’re going on this because it doesn’t always happen to you, sometimes it happens to me, sometimes it happens to the next door neighbour, sometimes it happens to famous people.
We’re our own worst critic but some people make that work for them by asking the question how could I be better at this.
Start today and remember:
- A thought is just a possibility in a particular situation.
- What is the real evidence to back up that thought?
- If there’s no real evidence then the thought is untrue. Say it out loud (“This thought is untrue”) it tells your mind that it’s not always true so it reduces its power when it is presented as a possibility in future.
- If there is evidence to back up the thought (we don’t always get things right) look for ways to be better next time. Make a plan, write it down, do something with it. Use it as a positive thing.
The enemy is accepting what is as what will always be.