This is an odd one for me, because it’s part of my own personal story. Also it’s an odd one because I’ve found that there’s no single thing that will stave off stress forever, I’ve found that the things that I do need doing again every now and then because I learn new ways to get it wrong.
So if you want to know how to learn to deal with stress the first thing to learn is that you keep learning. Keep looking for solutions, keep trying them out and keep making it work for yourself.
I don’t want to suggest that nothing works because that’s untrue. What I’m getting towards is that most things work but that we as the sufferers of stress feel better and stop dealing with it properly and then it gets bad again. When it gets bad we assume that the thing we were doing doesn’t work and we search for another solution. It’s bad thinking, it’s a knee-jerk reaction to the realisation that life just caught up with me again.
So it’s worth going over that last bit again, just because you had to put effort in, you lapsed in your effort and life caught up, you assumed that what you were doing isn’t up to the job. It’s quite possible that if you start doing what you were doing again to keep yourself stress free then it will start to work all over again.
And in to the bargain I’m talking about me and I should know better because it’s what I do for a living. Well I do know that what I do works and I’ll explain my regime to control my own stress and life.
First I use self hypnosis as a meditation. It’s great to use it to shut off that inner voice that just rattles on and on when I want to be quiet. Spending time in a quiet mind for a few minutes per day is a wonderful thing.
Next I use self hypnosis as a way of clearing out any negative thoughts that I have. It makes it sound a bit like a swiss army penknife but with a few simple techniques I clear out all those sources of angst from my mind. I find it liberating.
Next I realised a long time ago that when people say visualise yourself doing well in a future event in order to stop you worrying about it that their description was wrong. I find that when I visualise the future events that my experience tells me that there are so many things that can alter what is going to be happening.
So instead I visualise me in a mental state of resourcefulness. Being resourceful and calm in future events feels good while you’re practising, it also helps you when you’re there because your mind is conditioned to be resourceful. It’s good like that. It’s the equivalent to teaching a man to fish; give him a fish and you feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and he can feed himself for a long time.
This is a brief summary of what I tend to teach people who come to see me with anxiety issues. I teach them to help themselves. That way when we have set them on the right path and they are ready to go it alone, they have the tools to deal with whatever will come up next. We just can’t predict what’s going to happen in a few days time.
And remember keep doing it on the good days, they get better. That way the bad days get better too.
I’m not the only person that works this way, this article talks about similar things.
Self hypnosis is also used routinely in other contexts too read more here.