The Secret About Dealing With Stress
If there is one secret to dealing with stress then it’s to keep working at it. There is no instant fix.
People who deal with stress and anxiety at work or in their private lives have a lot going on in their lives. We all do, and we all deal with it in different ways.
One big thing to remember is that there is no single solution that works for everyone.
Let’s go back to basics here. Stress is your body reacting to things around you. In chemical terms when your body is stressed it is producing Cortisol and adrenalin. There are many things that happen when this starts but I’ll be brief. It gets your body up and running, like having a getaway car waiting at a robbery. So if you follow that metaphor of the revving motor you can see that you’re using more fuel being in that ready state.
Using hypnotherapy and other therapies we can deal with specific sources of stress and give you some respite. There’s a problem here though. You have probably heard people say well it was great at first but it wore off eventually and now I feel I’m back where I started.
What’s going on there. Well dealing with specific sources of stress works and works well but life carries on and people who get stressed find new ways to get stressed. It’s just one of those things. You could easily see that as a negative trait but in survival terms this is a person who adapts to their surroundings and is always ready to get on and survive when the chips are down. So there’s the positive thing that your body is doing, it’s keeping you safe in the only way it knows, by being ready to act.
So what use is therapy? You can go two ways here:
- You can treat therapy as a one off thing that you do now and then to level your playing field and clear out the gremlins that have crept in. And that works, there are people who do that.
- Another way is to spend a little longer in the initial therapy and learn how to do it for yourself.
Now doing it for yourself depends on the mental model you have and dealing with that fully is a whole other tale for another time. If I put that in a nutshell here:
- Some days it will go right and you will cope wonderfully
- Other days you will have to make more effort to keep yourself level
- Occasionally it will all unravel. Nothing will work. You will have the day from hell.
When you get the day from hell, some people throw their hands in the air and give up. It’s obvious to them that they are useless, they are not able to do it and they are destined to be one of life’s back markers. It’s obvious that nothing is working for them and life is going to be bad forever and then a bit more.
Some people wait until they can get calm and say to themselves that what they were doing was working before, what’s happened on the day from hell is a set of circumstances that is unusual and one to concentrate on. Remember how it feels, where you perceive the issues arose from. They carry on. They accept that doing nothing is not an option because that will always feel bad. They carry on. It might take them a week to recover from the day from hell but they keep working on it.
What’s the difference?
The first is an emotional response and it’s a bad time to make a decision. The second is a rational response that has allowed the dust to settle.
For those of us who suffer from stress, anxiety and everything that goes with it. Ultimately there is only 1 secret.
Never stop working at it.
As circumstances change we must identify the new situations and learn to deal with them.
My main tool for this is learning to be calm. It sounds too simple but applying calm to situations has been proved to work.
I hope this helps.