As you read this, bear in mind it’s not the rant of the self indulgent. Read with an open mind and you will understand its relevance to self improvement how to start.
Self Improvement How To Start
My wife (whom I love) uses me as a source of money. She uses me as someone to cook for, someone to look after and arrange.
My daughter uses me as a source of money and also a source of information and inspiration for problem solving when it suits her. She uses me as person to feel superior to as is the way of the young. (It reminds me of the advert: “Employers! Do yourself and your business the biggest favour ever and give my teenager a job while she still knows everything.” )
My neighbour uses me as a person to cut my side of the hedge, someone to say hello to in the morning and sometimes someone to moan about when life isn’t being kind.
My doctor practises on me. She usually practises a thinly veiled scorn that should be directed at one who knows better than to bring such trivia to her office.
My manager uses me to get things done and as an object to be put in its place.
You get the gist of how the world uses me …
All these things happen because I let them happen. I must let them happen because I don’t do anything to stop or change them. If I want to change the things that happen then I can’t go out and change the whole world because its too big. The only thing that I can do to change my interaction with the world is to change me and what I consent to.
If I change then it changes the way that others interact with me. That means that they have to change too. I can choose to make that easy by making good changes.
We all know that the big things are hard to change, always have been and always will be. There’s just too much and it’s too complex to work it out. Also changing big things confuses those around me because it changes their interactions with me, confusion can make things awkward.
Small changes on the other hand, particularly the ones that others don’t notice and can accommodate easily, are the way to go.
I tried changing things like which side of my teeth I should brush first and which shoe I should put on first and which hand to hold the phone in. They may appear to be empty gestures, nothing important changing. They don’t affect the others around us but they are conscious changes that allow me to get used to changing. Practise makes perfect.
I am changing that time I go to bed and get up. I will go for a walk at lunch time. These are things that do affect others but they are low level and not seen as important. Things like this allow the world to get used to me making changes.
I will be more selective in the TV that I watch and not watch programs that I don’t care about. I will start to plan my life, my future and my interactions with others. I will plan it as a series of small changes that people around me won’t notice, the small changes won’t upset the apple cart and will allow me to move in the direction that I choose. I will make an effort to be aware of the effect my changes have on the world so that they don’t get upset.
If you want to change:
- Work out what parts of the world rely on you
- Work out what you need to change
- Plan what small changes can you make to achieve those changes
Implement the plan